Is it a good idea to use wit and sarcasm in your cover letter as an application for the job????Well according to Above the law an unemployed attorney took an unconventional approach to drafting a cover letter--using excerpts from nine other firms form rejection letters sent to the applicant.Guess what he received the tenth within the next week :).I cannot help but be amused at the fact that this post so closely co-relates to my own situation at the moment,that is "Job Hunting".The letter for you ;)
Normally, in my cover letters, I list my various qualifications with the hope that my record will impress the reader. However, in such a competitive market, my top 15% rank, managing editor position on my journal, and participation in moot court are not as likely to stand out. Even my experience teaching in [Redacted] for two years is incapable of impressing current hiring committees. Moreover, my immodest self-proclamations regarding my superior abilities are unlikely to convince you of anything more than the extent of my vanity. Thus, instead of providing you with a generic cover letter that will be filed away with hundreds of its kind, I have chosen to provide you with an outside perspective of my abilities.
Your colleagues from other competitive firms have had a great deal to say about me; therefore, I would like to share with you some of their opinions. Alston & Bird writes, “your qualifications are impressive.” Remarkably, Blank Rome makes an identical assertion. McKee Nelson also express this view but do not limit its opinion to my qualifications. Rather, it considers my “credentials and qualifications” to be “impressive.” Chadbourne & Parke takes a different focus, indicating that my “background is impressive.”
Other firms convey similar opinions with a different focal point. Epstein, Becker & Green is “impressed” with “my credentials.” According to King & Spalding, my “resume is impressive.” Furthermore, Debevoise & Plimpton feels slightly more strongly, stating that they were “most impressed” with my resume. Uniquely commenting on both my background and credentials, Dow Lohnes indicates that they “were quite impressed.” Cleverly using a more concise adjective-noun wording, Holland & Knight writes that I have an “impressive background.”
Clearly, there is a consensus among many firms that I am “impressive.” Although there is some disagreement about whether my background, credentials, qualifications, resume, or a combination of these is impressive, it is obvious that I am impressive on some level. Furthermore, while these accolades were all included in rejection letters, the opinions still hold true and are strong measures of my value as a candidate in your colleagues’ and competitors’ eyes. Thus, I am undoubtedly qualified for a position in your litigation department.
Finally, if I do not receive an offer for employment, many firms will be quite disappointed. Dozens of firms have indicated a desire for my “success” in the “future” with a “challenging” or “rewarding” position “somewhere else,” and I do not intend to upset these firms by failing. Therefore, I am very motivated to find a position and to impress my employer with my dedication and superior performance.
I have attached my impressive resume and transcript for your review, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Unemployed J.D. Candidate
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