From the archives!!!
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
In a counselors office: “Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
On a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
On the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!”
In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Sign at the psychic’s Hotline: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”
On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
Inside a Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.”
Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one Weak.”
In a Nonsmoking Area: “If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
On an Electricians truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
If you enjoyed this you will also enjoy you think its obvious and subtle humor
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